What is strength, really?
Here are some of the ideas I’d like to share:
When do things get better?
How much can we control?
How do we keep perspective?
What can we do on hard days?
Before that, I’d like to start with a poem dear to my heart:
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
When do things get better?
Life is an infinite game. That means that it has no end. There will always be something to learn. You may be skilled at music, but don’t know the first thing about business. You could be successful, but have no spiritual connection. No matter how much you’ve learned, there is always more to learn.
This question comes up when we are starting something new, or taking a step forward. We may have many accomplishments behind us that suddenly seem insignificant. At times like these, it is important to remember something very simple, and very important: no matter how hard we work, progress takes time to show. That takes us to the next point
How much is in our control?
We cannot control our results. We cannot control how fast our minds learn. For infinitely many reasons, some things come easy, and some things take more time. That is beyond our control. What we do have control over is our intention, and how we feed that intention.
What does this mean in practical terms?
Say you want to become a great pianist. You sit down at the piano and your mind thinks of Beethoven, Mozart, and all the great composers. But your fingers tell a different story.
The condition of your fingers, and your current skill level are not in your control. Conditions are never in our control. They are things to navigate.
This may seem counterintuitive. We can improve, certainly. The important thing is to realize that where we are in any given moment isn’t what we control. We control our intention to improve. And we feed that intention by practicing.
For a few months your fingers will not cooperate. That is nothing wrong with you, nor your fault. Merely the condition of your body.
What you can control is repeatedly wanting to improve. Sitting at the piano and working at it.
How can we keep perspective?
It can be tempting to imagine our desired outcomes and judge ourselves harshly based on where we are. This is counter-productive. We are where we are. That is not in our control.
One thing I like to do is look back on my progress when I am learning something new. I remember what I was like when I started, rather than compare against an ideal.
“Three months ago I could barely play a single melody. Now I can play whole songs, pretty decently. I may not be able to do [arpeggios/faster melodies/interesting harmony etc] but I am improving based on where I started”
What can we do on hard days?
Make two lists:
Wins List:
Some things you have improved on
Tangible results you’re already seeing
Compare yourself to where you started
Improvements List:
One small step forward
A simple idea you can immediately try
Make it measurable and specific
