How to Meditate: The Power Of Intention
Question of The Day: Can I notice what my body and mind do on their own without taking over, and does noticing give me any choice?
Surface: How do I watch my breath without accidentally controlling it?
Intermediate: Can training attention on breathing teach me to catch other semi-automatic urges, like anger or a tic, before they act?
Deep: Where is the line between "me" observing and "me" doing, and can conscious awareness ever really reach the unconscious?
Why meditate?
I’ve been meditating for over a decade. For the first few years, I didn’t really know what I was doing or the “right” way to do it. I went through a lot of phases with it. However, what I’ve learned is that it is meant to be somewhat of a messy process.
The mind naturally wants to be happy and free of suffering. That is the intrinsic quality that connects all sentient beings. However, we don’t really know how to go about that.
There is a very subtle, hidden thought that if we do everything right, we will be at peace.
How free am I, really?
That’s what I want to address first. Although we have free will, it isn’t a total free will. For example, we can’t decide that it will rain chocolate and have that happen. Our will is more of a conditioned free will. Here is a good way to see it.
Picture yourself on a river. The current is flowing and you are on your canoe. You cannot choose the river you are on in that instant. You cannot stop the water. But you can steer your boat. You can avoid rocks and make good decisions that lead you to safety.
What can I actually control?
So what does this have to do with meditation? We cannot choose what the mind does moment-to-moment. What we can choose is to cultivate our intention. Every time the mind wanders, we can remember that we want to be still, at peace, letting thoughts come and go.
The same goes for the breath. If you notice yourself controlling your breath, let that happen and remember that your body breathes automatically. It knows how to breathe. Listen to how it wants to breathe.
How does it become automatic?
The mind will get distracted, that is not in our control. What we can do is feed the intention to return. Initially this will take a lot of effort. Think of it as any other habit. Like going to the gym. The first few times you have to hype yourself up and promise yourself a treat afterwards just to put your workout clothes on. Then you start getting in a routine, feeling the benefits, and it becomes natural, effortless.
The same thing happens with meditation. It starts off slow, effortful, but as you continue to feed the habit of returning to your breathing or neutral observation, it becomes ingrained. Automatic. You can carry it with you everywhere. So many things become easy when you can bring your mind back to center. Anger doesn’t arise as easily, because there is a pause, a space between thoughts and feelings.
What draws you to meditation?
How can you make the habit grow in a manageable way?
